I am definitely embarassed to be posting my wrap up this late, but I do really enjoy looking back on them, so better late than never! July, and August too, were difficult months for me. I didn't feel nearly as fierce and on top of things as I did in June, which was disappointing for me. I was really riding high from all of June's accomplishments, but hey, sometimes life happens!
My health has definitely been on the decline since July, and also well into the month of August. Back in December at my job, there was a gang involved gun shooting. I didn't realize at the time what a huge negative influence this would have on my life, but boy is it noticeable now!
I grew up in a small rural country town, and always felt safe and secure, moving out and living in a big city had it's challenges. I have always had a pretty severe social anxiety disorder, but having lived with it my entire life, had managed to cope enough to work and support myself in one of the largest cities in the county. I loved my life there and miss it tremendously.
After the shooting I was not able to return to work, nor have I to this day. I suffer even more from a massive fear of people, most of the time only leaving the house about 2 to 4 times a month. I have horrible nightmares and flashbacks when I try to sleep, and I have a new ridiculous fear of windows. I have done some pretty ridiculous things like barricading myself in a car for over 6 hours, terrified to get out, which landed me at a hospital emergency room where the attending physician asked me, "what did you think was going to happen when you got out of the car?" Yeah.... really not sure about that. Not to mention loads upon loads of panic attacks.
I thought maybe in time I would heal from the trauma and my life would slowly begin to return to normal. It's been 8 months now and I realize now that this is my new normal. In addition to this new lifestyle of mine, my health issues have been pretty bad, and it doesn't help that I no longer have insurance and an income to pay for health care expenses. *sigh* But that is a whole other rant.
I guess the point of all of this is 1,) for me to get it off my chest and finally admit to myself, that this happened and this is what my life is like now. And 2.) to explain my embarassing reading slump. After dealing with all of the . . . mental anguish I'm often exhausted and just honestly have not felt like reading lately. Which is truly sad. I really hope to redeem myself in September. So enough of all the things I didn't accomplish and why,and on to what I was able to tackle during the month of July!
- Blood Will Tell (Point Last Seen #2) by April Henry
- Diplomatic Immunity by Brodi Ashton
- A Most Magical Girl by Karen Foxlee
- 11 posts total
- 8 reviews
- 1 blog tour
Even though July was not a very productive month for me, due to my hard work in June my blog didn't suffer at all in the month of July. I had content scheduled out throughout the whole month!
Now that I have bared my soul and admitted my defeat that is the month of July, I hope to get myself back on track in the coming months!